Becoming Humbled

Happy thoughts of a humbled girl.

Well, I finally have a moment to myself to relax and think about things. Since summer began, I’ve been working full-time, doing a part-time internship and trying to spend as much time as possible with my family and friends. So far, all is successful; got my first paycheck today, I’m loving my internship and I’m currently sitting with my entire family watching Wall-E.. So, I’d say I’ve got it all covered. Life is good.

Recently, I’ve been so incredibly happy. It’s ridiculous. I can’t wipe the smile off my face and I love infecting those around me with happiness. It’s like nothing can get me down and I love it. Everything in my life is coming together and I’m enjoying every second. I’m preparing for my future in a way I’ve never done before by adding another major – theatre, which is my absolute passion that gives me so much joy and excitement when I’m involved in it, I’m always happy and trying to help those around me – I’m no longer judgmental or critical of those around me like so many girls in this world tend to be (and how I was earlier in life, sad to say) and I’m so much looking forward to what God has in store for me. Seriously, I get tingly and butterflies when I think about what He has planned for my life and what path He has laid before me. I want to live my life for Him to those around me and I hope that I positively impact those around me, showing them the amazing grace and love that He has for them. Gah, I’m just so happy.

My life is amazing right now. I’m moving toward my future and can’t wait to live my life for the Lord and expand on what He has planned for me. After I graduate from Mizzou, I plan to move out to L.A. to pursue my dream of becoming an actor. This isn’t just a dream, it’s a passion and life goal that I WILL accomplish. Nothing less is acceptable. God has so many amazing plans for me and I’m ready to get them started.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Life Decisions, Passionate Goals

With classes winding down and my second year in college coming to a close, I’ve made some life decisions. At the start of my college career, I had decided to be an editor at a big time entertainment magazine somewhere in L.A. or New York. I still want to live in L.A., but now I don’t want anything to do with magazines. After deciding not to become a writer for a magazine, I switched my journalism emphasis from Magazine Journalism to Strategic Communication because I’d rather actually know the people in entertainment, as opposed to just writing about them. This all sounds pretty normal, right? People switch their majors all the time in their first years of college. However, my story has a twist; I want nothing to do with Journalism.

For the majority of my life, I’ve loved movies. They are my passion and my love. I want to act. Ever since I was a young child, I’ve wanted to act in movies. I remember being about six years old and telling my parents in the car one day while driving across a bridge that I wanted to be in Matilda or Annie, a movie like that. Fourteen years later, that yearning has done nothing but increase to an overwhelming part of my life. I find myself sitting in classes and letting my mind wonder to places filled with cameras, red carpets and flashing lights. I literally get butterflies when I picture my life in movies.

Now, many will probably think that I only want to be in movies to be famous or something else shallow like that. That’s not the case at all. No, my passion is much deeper than that. Throughout high school I was involved in every play that was put on during the four year duration I was there. Whether I had a starring role, was the director or just an usher, I made sure that I had some part and responsibility in everything that was done in our theatre. I loved it – everything about it; being on stage, becoming a completely different person than in my actual life. I love getting to know the character I play and morphing into someone that is the exact opposite of me. I can’t even really describe it, the feeling I get while performing for audience members. I live for it. That’s why even though I’m majoring in Journalism, I want nothing to do with it. I know that there’s no other career path for me than that which includes acting. Absolutely no other career.

Throughout the years, I’ve come to admire many actors in the world. These people have paved the way for me to become like them. Not in every way, but these that I admire have a lifestyle separate those of the Hollywood gossip scene. These actors are phenomenal and well-known, yet keep to themselves and don’t let the fame reach their heads like so many others in the world. This is what I strive to do when I move to California after graduation to pursue my acting career; I want to keep a clear head, but also maintain a steady life of acting. Johnny Depp is the number one actor that I admire in the world. He’s managed to pick roles that he saw fit, not just roles that would shoot him to fame. He handpicked everything and doesn’t flaunt his fame. In fact, he hides from it. Hayden Panettiere and Jennifer Lawrence also rank high in my standards because both of them also pick roles suited to them and manage to keep their heads out of the clouds as opposed to being greedy for money and attention. Lawrence chose multiple independent film roles before choosing to take on the role of Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, and though Panettiere has grown up in the spotlight, she still wants to better the world through wildlife organizations. Stars like these are the ones I strive to be like.

I know it sounds silly and crazy but I’m a very determined person. I work hard at what I do and love. If I put my mind to it, I can accomplish anything. So, that’s why I know that I can do this and eventually make my living as an actor. The fame isn’t for me, I want to keep my normal life and privacy, which is why I’m not doing this for the fame itself. I’m doing this because I have a genuine love for the art of acting and strive to make my entire life out of it. So, after graduation in 2014, I’ll be moving to California to live out my dream. Wish me luck.

As Olive Madison, lead in the female version of "The Odd Couple," at Lawson High School, Lawson, Mo. Fall 2009