Change is a wonderful part of life

A lot of things have been filling my thoughts recently. Namely, what I’ll be doing after leaving Paris. And ya know what? I’ve discovered something about myself that I never quite recognized before.. That I wasn’t made for the typical 9-5 working American life.

I guess I’ve always known I didn’t want that but it took five months of living in Paris to come to this clear realization.

My time here has helped me find myself even more than I ever expected and realizing I wasn’t made for that life should be scary. But to me it’s not. Not at all.

I used to think that I had to follow everyone else and get a “real” job and follow suit to the business-y 9-5ers. I used to think that was the only way to be successful. Get a job I like, work all day every day, make lots of money and eventually retire comfortably. But I don’t want that. And only now do I know that’s okay and that I’ll be fine with whatever life I end up in.

You see, I want to do things my way. I’ve always known I was the adventurous creative type but always thought that characteristic was for my “free time.” You know, I’d live a normal life and have “fun” in my spare time. It’s taken Paris for me to realize I can make a living however I want.

I want to travel.

I want to write.

I want to know the world.

In college, I had a professor that I was always envious of. He was a professor, yes, but he had seen the world. He lived in France for ten years. He backpacked through Europe many times. He knew people from all over the world. I remember sitting in class one day after he’d told a story about his most recent trip (I believe it was to Corsica?) and how he’d met so many people to travel with and just spent his whole summer camping out and exploring. I became so incredibly jealous thinking I’d never have those kinds of opportunities. But here I am, doing the exact same thing – spending my life exploring and becoming immersed in the world. That was about two years ago and I’ve finally come to realize I can have whatever kind of life I want.

And the life I choose is that of a travel writer. Or a novelist. Or a volunteer. Or whatever else I want. After my time in Paris, I don’t plan to begin a life of normality, I plan to seek out my next adventure in the world – whatever it may be.

My life isn’t about the money I make and the security I have in those finances, my life is about exploring the world God created and getting lost in whatever comes my way.

Growing up

So, here’s the deal. I graduate soon. Wow.. It’s terrifying to actually say it. Next semester I’ll be leaving home and making my own home somewhere completely different and that’s scary.. (Hopefully my Momma doesn’t read this post).

Now that being said, I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life. But before you start to judge, let me tell ya that I’ve got my life pretty well under control. I have a level head, I work my booty off at both my job and my internship in order to have my own money and I’ve been looking into jobs for a while now. I’m not worried for what will happen to me after I leave home, it’s all in God’s hands and I know he’ll take care of me.

I have a blank canvas in front of me and I can do whatever I want with it. It’s freeing to think that I’ll be moving on soon and that I can do and be whatever I want. I can be a publicist. I can be an actor. I can be an agent. I can be a writer. I can be a public relations representative. I can be ANYTHING.

And that’s exactly what I’ll do. No matter what the future holds for me, I know that I’ll be doing something every day that puts a smile on my face when I wake up. And I know I’ll do this because I know exactly who I am. I know that whatever path I end up taking in this wonderful life that I have, that I’ll be happy and more importantly that I’ll make an impact. I want my life to affect others. I want my life, my story and my choices to inspire someone. Anyone. I just want to live my life happily and know that I can positively impact someone somewhere in this world – doing what? I don’t know.

But I know it’ll be grand.